Memories are strange creatures aren’t they?
There are some that you should definitely keep in good condition,
ones that feel good,
ones that you should bring out for a play through,
like your favourite album,
close your eyes and sink back in your favourite chair with your headphones on
and soak it all in.
Then there are the ones that sneak up on you.
Sometimes you can feel them there in the corner of your mind,
an uneasy feeling you are trying to shake off,
the remnants of last night’s nightmare.
All of a sudden they jump out right in front of you,
sharp and self-important, sneering maliciously
with one hand behind their back holding the knife.
‘Remember me?’ they say in a voice you faintly recognise
and before you know it they are attacking you
and you are a sobbing mess on the floor.
The sneaky ones, the dark ones,
they are going to come at you from time to time.
Sometimes all they need is to be acknowledged.
A few minutes of headspace and then it’s time to move on.
Sometimes you will want to fight them.
Scream at them, yell.
Tell them to fuck off.
Snatch the knife and use it on them,
Until they are shredded beyond recognition
and you are left exhausted from the effort.
Sometimes you will stand there and take it,
knowing that the tears that will flow
are what you need today.
But know this.
We give the past so much power,
we treat it as if it is a living breathing thing.
But the past no longer exists,
it is no longer happening.
We have to be here now.
It’s all we have.
It’s all we’ve ever really had.