Taking pleasure in the details

What I’m trying to do right now is take pleasure in the details in my life.

The way it feels when my little girl gives me a hug, her tiny arms hanging around my neck.

Lying beside my son on the beanbag as he turns to me and says “Mum, would you like to talk about stuff with me?”

My husband’s hands on my shoulders as I peer into my computer screen as if it holds all the answers, his touch a silent message of support.

I’m taking pleasure in the details because the big picture is just too big at the moment.

Big and scary and confusing.

And so unclear.

We really don’t know what’s going on.

And we don’t know how long it will be until that big picture starts to become clearer for us.

It’s an uneasy feeling.

It’s too real, it’s too close to do my usual search for the lesson, to look on the bright side, to seek out the silver lining.

So I don’t even go there.

I just focus on the details.

Beautiful details.

I focus on the way my daughter’s hair curls at the nape of her neck.

I focus on the moment my fingers reach my love’s as we sit beside each other on the couch.

I focus on my boy’s smile as he requests a ‘family cuddle’, and the warmth of the moment in which the four of us put our arms around each other.

And then I get it.

An answer.

Not to the big, scary questions, we still have to wait for those.

But an answer to the how.

How are we going to face this?

The answer is simple.

How are we going to face this?

Together.

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9 responses to “Taking pleasure in the details

  1. Such an inspiring way to approach change, Happylan. Besides, no matter how much we think we can plan, it doesn’t really matter. The right now is all that we should focus on anyway. The future, whether we plan it or not, happens the way it will happen regardless. x

    • Thanks Bron. So true, I guess the ‘big picture’ is never certain no matter how clear it seems to be.

  2. Wow.
    I am going to log off right now and light a candle for you, my friend.
    Until the light shines more clearly for you, savour those sweet details. You are so wise. And beautiful. And inspiring.
    xxxx

  3. Alana, I adore your beautiful gentle writing. This post is so lovely, and sad too. I hope whatever you’re facing will improve soon. I feel for you (as you know) – families stick together, that is for sure. I love the pleasure in the details so much too. You capture them so well. xx

    • Thanks Deb, it’s a strange but not uncommon situation I find myself in, it is just a process of waiting (on external things) before we get some clarity, and therefore direction. I know things will be OK, but I’m not sure what OK is going to look like for us.
      I hope I’m making sense in my vagueness! Just too personal to explain on here right now, especially with all the uncertainty at the moment!

  4. So much strength and courage can be drawn from togetherness. A beautiful reminder of what really matters. Sending love your way, and hoping you get the answers you seek and life shines brighter for you all xxxx

  5. Pingback: Grateful Again | Happylan·

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